Vanessa, Ian, Evan, and Addison

Vanessa is a single mother of three: Ian (12), Evan (11), and Addison (7). Her three children are performers and love to act and read.

About Vanessa’s Family:

Aside from their births, watching my kids succeed at something important to them always makes me really happy. As a family we love reading, Red Butte Garden, picnics, riding bikes, and travel to visit family. We also love celebrating the 4th of July in the Park and midnight Harry Potter movies!

I love that my children love me unconditionally – it feels really good to have that. I look at them and am amazed every day at what cool individuals they are becoming. I love that I have been a part of that. My children love that I bake them cookies, they love it when I hug them and play with them, they love that I watch them perform and cry, haha! Loving my kids is easy, even when they are making me crazy.  Giving up my personal space and time is hard sometimes – mothers rarely get a break.  But it is so hard watching my kids get hurt by a friend or classmate and not being able to do anything about it.  It is a helpless feeling sometimes.

I was always going to have three kids, four max. We almost stopped after the first two boys but I really wanted to try for a daughter. Thankfully, that is what I got. I thought I would space them two years apart because that seemed standard but it didn’t work out that way – the first two are only 18 months apart and the middle and youngest are 4 years apart. My parents of course wanted grandkids but never pressured us to get busy or have more. I felt some pressure by my church community to have more but I didn’t pay much attention to it.

I would ask other couples to consider what you can provide for them. Money isn’t everything but basic needs are. Consider your lifestyle and career and how much attention you will be able to give each child. No parent is perfect and we all have our own ways of parenting. I would advise newly married couples to take sufficient time to enjoy each other first. Don’t rush into parenting because its a lifelong commitment that you can’t just back out of. It changes the entire dynamic of your married lives and if you haven’t taken that time with each other you could possibly regret that later. Children deserve your complete attention and they shouldn’t come into the picture until you are ready to give that.

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